Daily Journaling

Wow, I was just noticing how long it has been since I started this blog only to do nothing with it!  Well, I have decided (after reading an article from WebMD) that I should make use of this blog and turn it into a daily of journal of sorts.  Let's see how well that works out! LOL  If this doesn't become my daily journal, I do want to start some upkeep on the blog with helpful info I find and any other Fibro sites, conversations, etc.   So, for my friends with Fibro this blog is for you too.  Now, I'm thinking keeping a public daily journal of my every day goings on might seem a little too personal, but, what the heck... If no one is interested in what it's like to live life with this "syndrome" that is quite alright!  At least I'll be doing what I'm supposed to be doing to help myself figure out what is going on inside my body and hopefully lessen the amount and extremity of flares I have been having.

Today has been a HORRIBLE day!  I woke up with pain in almost every part of my body!  From the second I woke up, I knew I didn't want to be awake so I just took Vicodin (on top of my  heavy duty narcotics Opana, Lorazepam, Opana ER and Citalopram which is not a narcotic, but an antidepressant) until it knocked me out.  I'm not really supposed to be taking Vicodin because the Opana is for breakthrough pain and it's actually way stronger than Vicodin, but for some reason, it doesn't have the effect Vicodin has on me. It will not put me to sleep and won't take that sharp edge off the pain, whereas Vicodin (if I take enough) will.  I'm running out though and that is causing me some major stress.  I can't get anymore either because, as I mentioned, the Opana is supposed to be enough for me.  :p  Well, I even tried Oxycodone, but all that did was make me a little loopy.  Can you believe it?  One of the strongest drugs on the market and it couldn't even touch my pain.  That's how bad it is.  I know you are supposed to exercise and move around to help relieve some pain, but I don't know how anyone expects you to do that when it hurts to even lift your head!

I didn't do well with my eating habits at all today either.  It seems whenever the pain gets bad, I stop taking care of myself.  I didn't even take any vitamins or Colostrum today.  For those of you wanting to know about Colostrum, just ask or Google it.  It helps with my energy immensely.  I guess that's why I didn't take it today.  I didn't want energy.  I just wanted the pain to go away.

I didn't get any energy until around 9:00 PM.  That's when I woke up and I've been on the computer ever since.  I know I'm not supposed to be on the computer that long and I'm not supposed to be on it in bed, watching TV in bed and all that, but I can't just lie here and think thoughts of rainbows. LOL  That's unrealistic!  However, starting tomorrow, I've had enough...  Things are going to change.  I am going to try very hard to change some of my habits.  Let's see how it goes.  To be honest, I'm not sure if forcing myself to sleep at night and stay up all day is good for me.  Sometimes I wonder if I should just let my body sleep during the daytime (which it seems to want to do) and stay up all night.  It's hard on marriage though and hard on my husband because he needs to sleep at night for his job during the day and when I'm up all night he doesn't rest peacefully.  This is something I'm really struggling with so I'm going to try my nighttime rituals that I had been previously doing (and somewhat succeeding at).  Let's hope they work!

Well, I have about a million things to do tomorrow (oops, guess I mean today) so this is all for now.

Goodnight world.
AJ