Today was a day of pure aggravation, stress and anxiety due to the fact of being overly tired and not feeling like I was getting anything done. My day started at 3PM and is winding down now at around 1:30 with an original goal of being asleep by 2:00 AM, but it's not looking good. I was hoping to do my diary a little bit earlier, but it didn't quite happen. Instead, I took a nice 20 minute hot bath with a bath bomb from Lush that was just heavenly. It felt so good to wash my hair and shave. I haven't been able to bathe or shower for about 4 days due to the pain I've been in. :( Oh, it was so nice. What a luxury a bath can be. It sure did take me a while to figure out how to get in and out without causing too much pain and it was quite difficult, but oh so worth it. Mmmm... I even used my special microderm abrasion system on my face because I have been breaking out so badly lately. My body is desperately trying to fight off bacteria with the Colostrum I have been taking. (Side note: my carpal tunnel is really acting up in my wrist. Might not be able to type much longer.)
I go to the female doctor tomorrow for an annual checkup (way overdue). I have had to reschedule 3 times already due to inability to get up and dressed b/c of pain. I tried to cancel tomorrow's appt., but couldn't get in til the 29th if I did so I just stuck with it and have to suck it up. See, the problem is that it's at 10:30 in the morning and I just don't do well in the morning, after staying up all night. I am now learning, no matter what, I just absolutely must make my appointments for the afternoon. After the annual exam, I have to go (if possible) to the X-Ray lab to get my shoulder X-rayed. My new PA thinks that something more than the Fibro is causing my shoulder to lock up and have so much pain. He said something about some sort of a disease involving the first rib and shoulder joint. Anyone here of such a thing? I cannot remember what he called it. Oh well, I'll find out on the 9th when I go back to the pain mgt. doc to get some neurological testing done for carpal tunnel, which is likely that I have, considering I'm always on the computer if I am not sleeping or crafting. ;0)
I am hiring an assistant soon to help me with things like taking me to doctor's appts. If I can find someone who can work with the schedule I have. I still want to have time with my husband so my hope is that I can find someone to help me out in the afternoons just 3 days a week or so plus one Saturday or Sunday a month maybe. It has been so hard lately to even function. I must have some help. Please pray for me that I will find the right person to fit my needs and who has a good heart and wants to help someone who will help her achieve her dreams as well. :0) That is my hope. I want someone around me who has a positive attitude and who is smart and kind and hopefully has a sense of humor too. I need a right hand "man". LOL It will relieve so much stress in my life to have some help with the things that I freak out about not having enough time to do. Also, if all goes well, the assistant will not cost me money, but make me money by making me more productive. I have been needing to sell tons of things on Etsy and Craig's List, but have had no energy or real desire to do so. It will be fantastic to have that taken care of and hopefully that will help pay her salary. Otherwise I can't really afford the help. Can anyone suggest a way for a person on disability to get some help with household things like running errands, upkeep of the home (a little bit), organizing, posting ads, etc.? Any thoughts on where to look for some assistance with that? I don't receive a large sum from disability at all so I need to find a way to make this affordable.
On to my day again. I got WAY off track! LOL -Anyways, I got up, as I said, around 3 PM and went downstairs to let the dogs out and get some coffee. I was so pleased to see my husband had made some for me so all I had to do was heat it up. It's the little things like that that just make me smile. :0) They make such a difference for a person in pain... to have one less thing to do. Ahhh, that was great, but my pain was there in the knees especially. Quite awful, but not bad enough to make me want to go back to bed. I took my Colostrum, nasty stuff really, but it helps and then went back upstairs. During the day my hubby came home for lunch and I pretty much slept through that so I had him call me when he had a free moment so I could say hi. We chatted for a bit, I did some online work, and then by 4:30 PM I was already pooped! :( Talk about bringing me down. Wow, I was so discouraged. I really thought that I was ready to take on the day when, at 4:30, I just got bogged down with exhaustion, so I lay in bed and watch TV for the next bit of time. Decide I'm not going to fret about it, just deal and see where the night takes me. Well, it pretty much took me nowhere. LOL I did get a few things done that had to be done so that felt good and around midnight I went over to my neighbor's house to have some coffee and have a little bitchfest. Pardon the language... She and I have both been having some health issues so it was nice to commiserate with her for a while. I would have stayed longer, but hubby wanted to go to bed so back home I came, with her little dog too. Bella stays here about half the week because my friend just has too much to deal with and doesn't want her little dog anymore. I do want her desperately, but have to get a trainer in here to help with the aggression of my Pits before I can be sure I can keep her. (OMG, my fingers and wrists are throbbing now.) She's a MinPin and brings me so much love and joy. I was happy to bring her home tonight. She always lifts my spirits, though we have to build up a gate system blocking her in our room and the big dogs out so it's like Fort Knox in here at night. If I want my normal middle of the night snack I'm SOL right now. Ah, good thing I had a few chocolate cookies hidden in my room. Not supposed to have those, but I had my vitamins today on top of the Colostrum so hey! Not too shabby!
I had one decent meal today and that was from Jason's Deli. Mmm... organic portabella mushroom panini with blue corn chips and hummus on the side. I gave some to my hubby so he'd quit giving me puppy dog eyes b/c of course he liked what I ordered better than what he did. Lol Mine had Asiago cheese, spinach, a light spread of fresh guacamole and those big, juicy portabellas. Yum! Ok, gotta quit talking about that or I'm gonna break outta here and get the rest of the hummus that's in the fridge downstairs. Dang! I really need a mini fridge in my room. Seriously, I have a coffee pot, hot plate and microwave upstairs. A mini fridge is the last thing and I'll be all set for my really bad flare days. It's brutal trying to get downstairs when your knees don't want to bend.
I fell a week or so ago and that made things so much worse. Plus I'm on my cycle, which I would like to hear from other women with fibro how much of a difference in your pain does that make? It makes my pain so much more intense and I always end up in a flare during that fun time of the month. It has gotten so bad that I have honestly considered getting a hysterectomy just so I can reduce those flares every month. I don't have children and would still like the option of having them, but if this doesn't get better in a year or so, I might just have to have the surgery.
Ok, for the rest of the day's little details (I must stop typing, the pain is shooting up my arm and is starting to make me anything but relaxed and this is supposed to be relaxing time) I ate a little better than yesterday. Still had not enough "real" food, too much junk food and empty calories, but a little less caffeine. I added vitamins today to my diet and one and a half scoops of Colostrum on an empty stomach, mixed in a bit of water.
I did get up and stretch for about 5 to 10 minutes when I woke up and that helped a bit. In fact, I'm going to stretch a little now, while lying in bed. The sleeping pills are kicking in, so that's good.
Meds: I took only 2 Opana, 2 Opana ER, maybe 4 Lorazepam, no Vicodin, 1 Citalopram and no Oxy so that's really good considering yesterday, I took a lot of Vicodin. Yay!
All for now!
AJ
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment